First, let’s define stress. Stress is a general term for anything that makes you feel tension or pressure. Stress puts a strain on you and you respond both physically and emotionally.
Enough already! Now you have to worry about worrying? Seriously? Well – maybe a little, or maybe a lot – it depends on the type of stress you’re experiencing.
The ability to identify the type of stress you’re experiencing is important.
There are three levels of stress that you want to be aware of:
1. acute stress
Acute stress is short-term stress. Acute stress is not dangerous if it is resolved in a few hours or a few days. Examples are an argument with a loved one, an unexpected expense, or a looming work deadline.
This type of stress comes and goes and is often related to relationships.
2. Episodic acute stress
If acute stress doesn’t let up, it can lead to this unhealthy level of stress where you feel overwhelmed and tense. Examples are a continuously strained relationship, increased financial obligations, or a high-stress job.
This type of stress results in difficulty with concentration, tension in your muscles, and irritability – none of which is good, but the good news is that coping strategies will make a difference (see “use hope to cope” below).
3. Chronic stress
Chronic stress can be dangerous for your baby with risks that include premature labor and the slowing of brain development. The Pregnancy Journal by A. Christine Harris, Ph.D. recommends you be mindful of how you react and enlist the support of competent people to help you develop a plan of action that will provide you with stability.
You deserve stability. Make it a priority. Get the help of a professional – a physician, counselor, or life coach. If you don’t know where to turn for help, CVS is in all 50 states (plus DC and Puerto Rico) in the USA. Begin with www.cvs.com – book an appointment in person or online with a MinuteClinic licensed therapist. Another online option is BetterHelp – its mission is “Making professional therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient — so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime and anywhere.”
Also, and this is important, enlist the support of people you trust and tell them you are struggling so they know to give you the extra reassurance you need.
use hope to Cope:
- Remind yourself that you are not alone, we all have yucky stuff that makes life hard.
- Give hugs and ask for hugs – hugs restore our sense of hope with their healing powers.
- Practice self-compassion – use loving language with your sweet self (train that inner voice to be hopeful).
- Talk about your struggles with a supportive person. Ask them to tell you something nice about you.
- Music induces mood like Pitocin induces labor – immediately! Sad music can actually help you feel better (odd, but true, it provides a release and validation), but then change it up with something upbeat and danceable.
- Spend time in nature. Look out the window and observe nature. Search nature images online. It’s a powerful reminder that the world is big and our troubles, while not small, can be managed with hope and help.
- The comedy cure – laughter is the best medicine. Seek out funny shows and movies and your favorite stand-up comedians.
- Reassure your inner child (I do this on the advice of a friend, and it works). Tell the child in you who still carries trauma, “little me, you’re going to be okay.”
- Breathe – inhale deeply and slowly through your nose and relax as you exhale. It sends a signal to your body that you’re going to be okay.
Motherhood is a higher calling. Take extra good care of yourself during this time. Practice self-care by eating healthy, exercising (even 10 minutes is incredibly curative), and getting sufficient sleep (9 hours is dreamy).
Know your value. You are important. Just look at you – working hard at creating a new life! Great job!